I am so terrible! Emmett is now 18 months old and I am so behind on this blog it is crazy!! I have been so busy though with work and going back to school. Not to mention Emmett is crawling every where and getting into everything!! I need to setup a schedule for everything and stick to it! Just wanted to pop in quick and tell you he is doing great, and I will try to do better about blogging and keeping you up to date
It has been too long since I last blogged!! I think part of it is all the old feelings it brings up!! I love my son and I wouldn’t change him for the world, but at that time I had a lot of negativity running through my mind. I am not ashamed I just didn’t like feeling that way about my baby. I think I am going to try out a blogging schedule and see of that helps and try to outline what I want on here for everyone to see! Hopefully that will help me get to posting regularly!
I am going to write about something that brought me total joy while pregnant! My maternity photo shoot!! I was around 31 weeks pregnant, and even before I was pregnant I knew I would do this shoot. I had been planning this for weeks, and spent countless hours planning my maternity sash and painstakingly making it pretty with my mom!!! Finally the day had come, and I was up early packing and making sure we had everything we needed. The shoot was in North St. Paul which was about an hour from where we lived but I didn’t care. I would stop as many times as I needed to pee before we got there because I was SO excited!!! Also remember at this point we didn’t know if baby was a boy or girl we were waiting to find out. Never the less we made it in one piece and we were early!!! It was a ton of fun, and we are still with this photographer through Emmett’s first year and we will probably be with her through the end of time!! She is super nice and really good with Emmett!
So here I am 30+ weeks pregnant going in for my routine OB appt. Or so I thought!! I was then told I had to leave work(I see my dr on my lunch hour!!)and rush down to the MAC(Maternal Assesment Center)down at Abbott Northwestern. My blood pressure was high and I had some protein in my urine I also had lower leg and foot edema. They are worried about pre-eclampsia. Which I was then diagnosed with and kept a close eye on. I had to call my husband who was not at work thankfully, but he was a half hour away. Then we drove down to the MAC, and spent a few hours there getting monitored and later released. I had to do a 24hr urine collection. Man was that fun, not!! The next few weeks were pretty uneventful, that is until the end of February!
Genetic counseling was the next step after we learned our baby would have DS. Of course we had been asked many times if we wanted to keep the baby and if we wanted to do an amniocentisis to confirm with 100% accuracy. We told them no to both!! We have been blessed with a chance to have a baby why would I give that up!! With the amnio they risk is unknown for babies with chromosomal disorders so I wasn’t about to stick that needle into my belly and possibly miscarry! We spent over 3 hours between talking to the counselor and doing the level 2 ultrasound in the perinatal clinic. The baby was moving like crazy!! It was hard for the tech to get everything she needed and not reveal the gender to us. We waited to find out what we were having until the birth. That was the best thing we ever did! So after we needed to do a fetalechocardiogram to make sure baby’s heart was ok! It was which was a relief! I remember calling my husband telling him baby was ok and then letting him go so I could call my mom and tell her too! It was exciting news we were most likely not going to have to deal with heart surgeries and thought he would come home with us after the standard couple days in the hospital. Nope that didn’t happen!! But before I get to that my last couple months were very rocky!! We started talking about bed rest and induction. Hmm not very fun if you ask me!
So just minutes before walking into class we found out our precious baby would have Down Syndrome. Should we go to class?? I mean we paid already but we just got devastating news!! Well we went to class and had to wipe our tears and act like nothing was wrong. That was one of the harvests days of my life!! We are so blesses to have people in our lives that have made us stronger than we thought possible! The next few weeks were a blur. I went straight into research mode. I needed to find out everything and anything about Down Syndrome. Neither one of us have too much exposure to people with Down Syndrome, so I didn’t know what to expect. It wasn’t until three weeks later, when my husband and I got into an argument about something completely unrelated and the dam burst. I was yelling at the top of my lungs, and crying my eyes out about my poor unborn baby who I thought would never get to experience things and do certain things because of his diagnosis!! Boy was I wrong!!
My sweet boy, I have been blessed! You are the best thing has happened to your dad and I.
With that being said that wasn’t my inital feelings about what we learned when I was 16 weeks pregnant.
I was numb, I was in total shock. I had just gotten a call I had been waiting for but did not expect. I was told my precious little baby was going to have Down Syndrome.
Wow!! I thought that only happened to older women. Not me I am only 26 years old, my husband in only 24.
This can’t be right. Our risk was only slightly elevated, how can this be?
Well off to the first childbirth class.
- Gently changing perceptions: DownSideUp, a blog we love (specialneedsjungle.com)